8) Spirits of inebriated respite

Low Consumption = Low Spirits = Depression

Seems "drinking is a household, social, national ill" - courtesy Government regulator, Tasmac. The evil aftermaths of a drunken brawl should be inquired upon no other fit persons than the pitiable wives of daily wagers. To these alcoholics, it is rather a necessity, than a mere merrymaking occasional party. It is a social malign and I'm not trying to be your moral science teacher or the neighbourhood pastor. Chronic drinking might be bad, but I tend to see it in correlation with exams - remember those lousy essays you wrote in every English paper - a necessary evil. I don't say this for want of no reason, thanks to the latest research by Nord-Trøndelag Health Study, Norway. This comes as a morale booster for all mild drinkers out there who imbibe casually for the fun factor in it, or for just the heck of it. Alcoholism is blasphemy; Mild drinking is heavenly.

The research concludes that people who 'abstain' from alcoholic consumption are at a higher fortune of being in low spirits (a depression) than those who are liberal and diverse in their choice of drinks. An aromatic sandalwood log up the posterior of all those 'teetotalers' who have adequate chances to be so depressed as a nomad Hippopotamus left on top of an ant hill in the hot-sun-Sahara with its thick skin smeared with honey (courtesy Vonnegut). Look at life in retrospect and the lightest memories would be those little jokes, mocks, jabs that we shared over a drink - talks that would otherwise sound rubbish - at some joint. The sweetest reminiscences would be those few hours between sobriety and passing-out - that state of mild vertigo, lightheadedness, levity which very few things but alcohol could deliver; a feeling which very few tangible things in life could surpass. I'm not talking of a morbid obsession to drink but a meek titillation to pamper the psyche.

Spirits getting in-spirit-ed people into higher spirits of inebriation. I'm no connoisseur of the binge or an unruly gluttonous boozing indulgence, but a modest publican persuading people to see mild drinking as a necessary evil, a vent for an emotional outburst, a solace to an excited mind. And after all the wise-wording, last thing I want to discover is that the research was funded by Johnnie Walker!